Immanuel Prep tribute to Shani

This article was written by Shani's wonderful Headmistress, Alexis Gaffin, for the end of year school newsletter, published in July 2017, where it was accompanied by a gorgeous photo of Shani at sports day.

Whilst this year at I.C.P.S. has once again had many highlights, we also suffered a terrible loss. It was with a heavy heart that we heard of the death of Shani, our girl with long plaited braids, a pink floppy hat and a smile that could light up the darkest of rooms.

Shani was born looking perfectly healthy. At six weeks old, doctors told her parents that she had in fact been born with a congenital heart defect called pulmonary atresia, meaning  that she had a large hole in her heart and was missing the valve that links the heart to the pulmonary artery. Shani had her first operation as a baby; surgeons at Great Ormond Street Hospital implanted a tiny Gore-Tex ® tube into her heart where the valve should have been. She seemed to be making good progress and the doctors were cautiously optimistic. Then, at 20 months, Shani suffered from heart failure and spent two weeks in hospital trying to recover. At this point the doctors told Mr and Mrs Berman that she would not make it. She did.

When Shani joined Immanuel College Preparatory School she was like every other child at the beginning of their schooling; enthusiastic to learn, unsure of letting mummy go, excited to try to do things at ‘big school’ and keen to make new friends. We knew that Shani had a ‘magic heart’ and we wanted to facilitate her pathway to independence in a safe and secure way. Mr and Mrs Berman assured us that Shani knew her limitations and that she could be encouraged to participate in everything as she would let us know when it was time to stop. So began Shani’s time in our care.

Shani was determined to achieve her best, loved to learn and to enjoy herself and was kind to everyone around her. She took part in most activities happily and we respected her indication that she needed to be cautious. She preferred to sit with a book or chat with a friend at playtime rather than take part in games and she always had company. She was often the referee or judge during PE activities but was unwavering in her effort to cross the finish line at Sports Day, achieving a personal best in so many ways and leaving us all both so proud and so awestruck.

In November of last year Mrs Berman contacted me to tell me Shani would need to have surgery as her oxygen levels were becoming further depleted. We prepared for her last days at school prior to the surgery, which included Mum attending the dress rehearsal for the Chanukah Show, as surgery was scheduled to coincide with the main performance. Unfortunately, Shani caught a chest infection the week before and so the operation was postponed. The positive side was that we had Shani at our show Little Brave Hearts in which she told the audience: “I was brave when I saw a big dog in the park”.

Shani and I swapped smiles on what was to be our last day in school together. She gave me one of her biggest and brightest and I hope that I did the same. She left with an agreement that when we next met she would have another big smile ready for me and I know that when she said it, she meant it. The picture I have of her in my mind is from that day.

We all learnt so much from Shani, lessons that she effortlessly taught us as she went about her daily life. We are blessed with so many memories that even in her absence she continues to teach us. During our first week back at school children in all the classes wrote their own memories of Shani - she touched them all. “Shani had a big smile”, “Shani always waved at me when I walked passed her”, “Shani always tried her best ”. We continue to talk about her and wonder what she would think or feel in different situations. Her classmates refer to her regularly, and with ease, and love having some of her teddies in their classroom.

All our children, from Reception to Year 6, honour Shani’s memory in the way that they care for each other and the efforts that they have made to care for others. They have raised an incredible £2,400 for Great Ormond Street Hospital, where Shani was cared for throughout her life. I am grateful to all the parents and families for making this possible. In addition, thanks go to the parents of Year 1 for the donation of a friendship bench, which sits in Shani’s favourite place in the playground, and to the PSA for a pink rose bush. Shoshanah, Shani’s full name, means rose. As it blossoms, I will think of her, for it encapsulates her: sweet, fragrant and giving of pleasure to others. May her memory be a blessing.

Alexis Gaffin – Head of Preparatory School