The importance of importance

Saturday 28 September

Rosh Hashana (the Jewish New Year) is a time for us to reflect on what is really important in our lives.

What do we value? 
What are our ideals?
What gives meaning to our lives?
What would we regret not doing?
What should we spend our time doing?
What would we miss most if it wasn't there?

What are our goals, our vision, our purpose?

If we take the time to reflect on what is important and if we articulate it in our own minds and our own way, we can take steps to realign our world and our space and our lives to do more of what we value so highly.

But why is importance so important?

Dale Carnegie in How to Make Friends and Influence People talks about how at the core of his ideas, his central message of making connections with other people and working well together to achieve common goals, is making the other fellow feel important.

It's more than simply understanding another person's viewpoint, their desires and motivations - 
by making someone feel important you elevate them, you let them know that you are on their side and feel their worth: 
they become special to you and to themselves.

They carry import.

And perhaps when we are thinking about what is important to us, 
we realize that above goals and ideals and values, 
above vital but abstract ideas about the world and our place in it,
are the people in our lives that make it worth living.

Who is important to us?
Who has and does inspire us?
Who do we look up to?
Who do we want to spend more time with?
Who would we miss if they were gone?

Who would we tear our soul apart for to bring them back?

Who do we cry for?

This is the third Rosh Hashana since Shani died.
The third time that I've had to face life without her as part of an annual reckoning of what is important in life.

And each time there is a Shani-sized hole filled with grief and despair, 
a loss of meaning and love and play and smiles and giggles and joy,
a feeling of vast anger and rage at the Divine and the uncaring universe,
of how to continue in the face of such loss,
of drowning.

But, in the last year or two, there has also been a feeling that, without diminishing the grief, we have started in some small way to rebuild and contribute to the world around us, to the lives of other children with serious and life-limiting heart conditions, and in doing so to bring others, friends and family, with us.

And so in that terrible grief there are also days 
of sunshine, 
of wonderful people working together to create a determined community spirit, 
of feeling that we can make a difference and improve lives in the world around us,
of hope.

And that is truly important.

Shana Tova
A happy, healthy and sweet year ahead.